Diary message to my doctor daughter: What remains after a farewell

By Dr. Silvana Shametaj Ruli
Today, although cold, was a sunny morning. As soon as I entered the ward in the morning, I was asked to confirm the loss of a life, again. I often reflect on the mystery of the connection between life and death. It is a closure of a journey and it is in those moments, more than ever, that life speaks to me most forcefully.
I continue, and after 30 years of career in the department, to often be left speechless.
Every patient we treat carries with them a part of our lives. When we lose them, they take with them parts of our history and emotions. I lost a special friend and patient. I still read his messages.
Today another one, on his birthday.
It is not often that you lose a patient on his birthday. But when this coincidence happens, we perceive in a supreme way the unique value of life. My profession is carried with these coincidences of departure and achievement, of victory and defeat, of joy and pain.
I have tried to consider the patients I treat not only as names to be treated, but above all as lives to be appreciated. Each name has marked me with a unique touch and has enriched me with precious experience. Each departure has always left me with a lesson.
On my studio table today, an extra-dark chocolate from the birthday of a patient who is no longer with us seems sweeter than ever.
My dear daughter, who today is a doctor like me, to be worthy of holding this title, it is not enough to have perfect knowledge of scientific knowledge. It is not enough to cure physics excellently. We only start from there…
You must have the ability to carry and make your own the individual stories of each person who gives you the privilege of being chosen as a doctor. To know how to carry the fears and hopes of those who leave the trust and value of their lives in your hands.
It is a very difficult journey, often painful, but extremely precious.
Today I carry within me the loss of a friend, but also the pride and hope that you, with your energy, competence and delicacy, will know how to walk this journey with the same dedication as mine and that of your grandfather, a doctor. I hope that you know how to bring light where there is darkness, strength where there is fragility.
And today, addressing you, I like to see the future of my profession.